I’ve always had a dream; I just never thought I was brave enough to pursue it alone.
What I have been living for years has been a combination of the wanted and the unwanted. If the wanted had persisted, I would be married. I would be rich. I would be pursuing a career on television or in film.
I would have written several books by now. I would be thin, and my hair would always be laid. I would have incredible friends, and I would vacation. I would have a family of my own, and I would probably still have a relationship with my parents. Or at least, I would want one.
But the unwanted has prevailed.
When I was in LA and my family went to Father’s Day brunch without me, I felt like that was completely out of my control—though the universe would disagree.
It is widely taught by experts in metaphysics and the law of attraction that you can gauge where you stand vibrationally by what you are allowing into your life. Unfortunately, there is no clear measure of this vibration; it’s simply understood that if you don’t like what’s coming into your life, you need to somehow change your vibration.
The simplest solution is to get happy.
Ninety-nine percent of what you desire comes from the belief that you will be happier once you have it. So, it makes sense that if you were to simply become happy, two things could happen: either what you’re asking for would come, or you would feel better, making the absence of it less significant.
I don’t disagree with the idea of keeping our vibrations in check or that we create our own reality. What I do struggle with is reconciling what happens if what we attract initially looks good.
What if the job seems like an opportunity or the man appears to be an answered prayer?
What if what you attract has the trappings of everything you’ve been asking for, but it turns out not to be what you truly need?
I have a recurring issue with money that seems to haunt me.
Despite being in perfect health and having everything else in my life going well, I have never been able to hold onto money, even during times when I was doing everything right. I had checked all the boxes and was doing what I thought I should, yet no money was coming in.
Even the money that was promised didn’t materialize.
It’s impossible not to reflect on past experiences. It’s like piecing together a puzzle for years, only for the wind to blow it all away. Instead of starting over, you pick up a new box of pieces and patiently create a new picture, steadily building an entirely new vision.
I had a vision for my life. Among all the things I wanted to be, most of all, I wanted to be loved. It’s a strange compulsion for some; there are people who need love so badly they can’t be alone, while others need it so much they are always alone.
For a Taurus, I don’t think being alone is healthy or typical.
All I know is that I have a chance to follow my vision in life, and I believe it’s worth pursuing. I wasn’t sure if I could start from scratch, but as I considered being in the top 1%, I realized that being able to change my mind is a gift.
Not being bound by the same standards as everyone else and pushing myself to be better is worth it.
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